


You Are The Flowers That Bloom In My Heart

by Gwyn_Jodie7



Category: Anne with an E (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Humor, Blood, F/M, Fluff, Friendship, Hanahaki Disease, Music, Shirbert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2019-07-06 01:07:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15875361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gwyn_Jodie7/pseuds/Gwyn_Jodie7
Summary: Hanahaki Disease: a fictional disease in which the victim coughs up flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love.  However, sometimes it’s from not letting the person know you love them, and because you assume they don’t return it, the thoughts fester into the disease. In Japanese ‘Hana’ means ‘flower’ and ‘Hakimasu’ means ‘to throw up’.Snippet: When nighttime came, he curled up in fetal position and cried. He felt the roots pierce his lungs, felt how hard it was to breathe, felt the stems begin to grow. “It hurts, it hurts so much.” His eyes shut tight and by God he willed himself to sleep.





	You Are The Flowers That Bloom In My Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there, my name is Gwyneth. This is my first fanfic ever in a while. Please accept me and support this story. I worked really hard on it. Thank you.

Please listen to this playlist as you read [Youtube: You Are The Flowers That Bloom In My Heart (Shirbert)](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLA1n3UhrC_nMGPoFUCl_5k5ooc5PyfhEv), change the song where there are gaps or lines

 

Gilbert knew he liked Anne and wanted her by his side through life, he just didn’t know how yet. It happened after Bash and Mary’s wedding, when they developed a friendship.

In winter, they spent time walking home together. At first, Anne doesn’t talk at all and they walk in silence. Gilbert attempts but quickly stumbles on his words. “Umm…” Anne looks toward him with almost hopeful eyes. “...” And they continue in silence.

One day, he brings up his dislike for winter. “Winter is just filled with gloominess, the sun goes down early and the world is in a state of depression. In caveman days, they rose with the sun and set with it. Animals hibernate in winter cause it’s that bleak! How can someone feel energetic when the sunshine isn’t out? It’s the season of death…” He states. Gilbert thinks about his father. _Nothing ever good comes out of winter._

“No. No it’s not, it’s the season where the divine moon takes care of us. She looks down at her people and brings lovers together in the nighttime, places parents and children in front of a fireplace, and allows friends to giggle in the dark. How could you hate winter when it has Christmas in it? That’s like saying you hate Christmas! How could anyone hate Christmas unless they’re that wicked? The town is sparkling and filled with charm. Everyone is cheerful and smiling. Christmas brings the best out of everyone and brings us together. I believe every season is meant to be drastically different, so we can enjoy them even more. Thus, every season is delightful in it’s own way.” She finished her argument, grinning up at him. _Christmas did bring us together…\_

* * *

 

One spring day, Anne leads him off their pathway home and brings him to the hilltop showing him the ocean. “Last year, I stood right there,” she points to a place in the sand “I looked to the horizon and imagined all the possibilities…” she turned to him. “You know at the back of my mind…I thought of you, where you were and what you were doing, the extraordinary adventure you were going on. And I will admit I did miss you for a split second.” she shyly smiles at him. They hold gazes and then she returns to babbling.

He sees the sparkle in her eyes, how she seems to light up like the sun, she’s glowing right in front of him and that’s when he figures he loves her. 

 

It starts off slowly, he gets headaches every once in a while but puts it off to his apprenticeship at the doctor’s clinic, his long days working with Bash at the farm and long nights reading every possible book on science. When he stares at Anne’s ethereal side-profile he feels butterflies in his stomach and chills.

Gilbert doesn’t come to school one day, he feels like he’s suffocating and he’s over heated, but he’s freezing. “That’s what you get Blythe for over working yourself.” Bash says handing him a bowl of soup Mary brewed. 

Anne walks into his room and his breathe catches in his throat. “Here are the books for the day. Oh Gilbert, I would love so much to sit here and teach you all the remarkable things Ms. Stacy taught us. This would be the perfect opportunity for me to practice my vocation. But, the world will not allow it…well more so Marilla. She’s going to teach me how to make her special stew. Get well soon Gil, I expect you in class tomorrow…on that special chair right in front, I can’t beat you fair and square if you’re not even there.” She smiles down at him and then she’s out the door.

_‘She called me Gil.’_ And then he’s violently coughing. Tears well up in his eyes, he can’t breathe, his throat is burning. He hacks and hacks and tastes the earth in his mouth before spitting it out. In his lap, lay an array of flowers from sunflowers, blue hydrangeas, geraniums, and scarlet zinnias. They’re fully formed with stems attached to petals and blood splattered on them.

_‘Did these come out of my throat?’_  he thinks just as the door bursts open with a worried Mary holding a glass of water. He sees her take in the scene before her, tastes the familiar metallic tang of blood, and feels the soft petals of flowers graze against his fingers. He sees her face morph from concern, to confusion, to compassion with a hint of pity.

“Gilbert,” she whispered. Mary saw the world and knew very well of the disease. She told him. “It’s called Hanahaki Disease, supposedly an old wives tale, it’s a disease birthed from the sorrow of...unrequited love. The only cure I know of is for the person whom you love so dearly...for them to return those feelings.” Gilbert’s eyebrows furrowed, then a fiery red head decorated his mind ‘ _Anne’_  and then another coughing fit ensued.

When nighttime came, he curled up in fetal position and cried. He felt the roots pierce his lungs, felt how hard it was to breathe, felt the stems begin to grow. “It hurts, it hurts so much.” His eyes shut tight and by God he willed himself to sleep.

* * *

Gilbert was running to the ocean, gasping for air but his lungs barely filled, too consumed with flowers. He remembers the fateful day his revelation occurred, he remembers smiling so hard it hurt “Gilbert what is wrong with your face.” she laughed. But now he felt nothing but anger “ WHY ME? WHY DID I HAVE TO FALL FOR YOU...?” He knew. “It’s because I love how your eyes shine and how you find beauty in the littlest things in life. How you babble your mouth off and how every single one of your freckles are like stars. How intelligent you are, how determined you are, your view on life and your red hair. How you burn bright and shine within a room. You are the sun and I can only watch you from a distance.” he whispered, falling to his knees. “I-it hurt-ts so much and I-I I HATE YOU FOR IT!” He wailed. “BUT ANNE SHIRLEY-CUTHERBERT I LOVE WITH ALL MY HEART!” He was screaming to the world and he didn’t know why. All of a sudden, it felt as if the vines were loosening their clasp on his trachea. They slid up his throat and out his mouth, and somehow they just tickled. The yellow, blue and red flowers fell into his hands, he took a deep breath. “I would travel the world for you! I would gift you with spices from India-and inventions from Germany-and little trinkets from everywhere else just to see that twinkle in your eyes and hear you ask me a million questions about them.” he smiled to the ocean. 

But the torture only came back. He felt the vines squeeze his throat, the flowers bloom, felt them force there way up his throat and out his mouth. And he violently cried, he thrashed, he begged, begged the sky to take away his pain. And in the back of his mind he asked _‘Anne, could you love me?’_

* * *

In summer, Gilbert began to get used to it, but this never lessened the pain. The coughing fits were on the daily and he carried a handkerchief wherever he went. The doctor did not find out, which he believed had to do with how focused he was at his apprenticeship. He loved Anne Shirley, the roots, stems and flowers in his lungs proved it very well. But he had to focus on what the Doctor said and be present in the moment if he too wanted to be one. 

Ms. Stacy was the next to find out. She smiled sadly at him and promised to give him support. (When Bash found out he gave him a soft pat on the back, not sure how to react from the despairing information.) His other classmates felt enormous pity for him, but they did not know it was Hanahaki. Whenever he’d cough, he tried his best to hide the flowers by stuffing them into his handkerchief.

He felt their stares as he began his coughing fit, felt Anne’s big blue ones fill with concern when his hacks would echo in the room. “Ms. Stacy could I bring Gilbert outside? I feel he needs fresh air right now.” Ms. Stacy turned to who she considered was her brightest student. “Why that’s a mindful idea Anne.”

And so Anne rushed to his desk, she tugged on his arm and travelled across the classroom to the front door. He couldn’t help but look down at her with admiration, and her concern seemed to emit around her. He felt how tightly she gripped his arm and then they were outside.

She turned to him. “Gilbert, something is wrong with you. And you need to tell me right now. I’m worried about you...” He saw how tears formed in her eyes and felt how hard she clutched his arm. “Gilbert, you matter so much to me and it hurts me to see you in pain.” Then she was in his arms her tiny frame pressed firmly against his. Her face lay in the crook of his neck. He breathed her in, smelt the scents of flowers, morning dew, Anne Shirley was nature he was sure of it. His airway opened and he didn’t feel congested in that moment. For one moment he could breathe. She smiled up at him “Are you okay now? Shall we go in?” He nodded. 

* * *

 

Cole visited for a week and somehow ended up next to Gilbert. They started a friendship based on mutual respect for one another. Gilbert enjoyed Cole’s presence; he could see why Anne loved Cole so much. Once in a while, he did feel jealous of their friendship. But, he appreciated Cole as another person Anne could lean on.

His daily coughing fit happened and in slow motion for only them to see, one lone flower fell on to Cole’s lap. And his eyes shot up to Gilbert.

After school, Cole very forcefully walked Gilbert home, putting on a fake smile to Anne and Diana as they waved them off. “Gilbert, I am very aware of this disease, I’ve encountered numerous people who have had it. It is painful, so why are you hiding it from Anne?” Cole said fiercely. “Anne knows…?” His voice raised slightly making his answer come out as a question. He felt like a child being scolded by someone, someone younger then him most importantly. “Your feelings Gilbert.” Cole replied. “Telling her my feeling won’t do anything.” He said dejectedly.

“It will most definitely do something, ARE YOU JUST GOING TO SIT AROUND AND WAIT FOR YOUR DEATH!” Cole practically screamed. Gilbert looked at him in shock. “This disease plays out almost like a dark fairytale, being overtaken and destroyed from within by something so beautiful and gentle. You have to tell Anne, it’ll be worse if you don’t…” Cole whispered. With that he parted ways with Gilbert, leaving him stunned to place. Gilbert never thought of his future with the flowers wrapped around his chest, never thought of death approaching.

* * *

“Gilbert and Sebastian what a delightful surprise. What brings you to Green Gables?” Mrs. Cuthbert questioned. “Yes hello Mis-Marilla we felt we should help you with the fields with the summer harvest coming up, you need more hands then jus-Jerry.” Gilbert stumbled. “Ah, well we admittedly do need help. Okay, I will only let you help us if you stay for dinner.” She negotiated. “Why of course Marilla, we would love to have dinner with the Cuthberts!” Bash beamed.

So they worked on the fields and finally finished with work, Gilbert noticed how dry his throat was. “Bash I’m going to go grab us some water.” “No need for me boy, we’re done. I’ll go home quick and pickup Mary!” He nodded and trudged his way to the green gables home. He felt the dried leaves tickle the back of his throat and thought sickly of how he was watering back to life, the very thing that was killing him.

He saw Mrs. Cuthbert working at the table, cutting vegetables. “Hello, Marilla would you mind if I grabbed Bash and I some water?” He politely asked. “Not at all Gilbert help yourself.”

“Ummm so where’s Anne?” seemed to slip out from his mouth. “Ah, Anne’s out with Diana as of the moment but she’ll be back in time for dinner. She’ll be very happy to see you. She can’t help but let it slip out of her mouth once in a while. She would go mad if she knew I told you this. And how every now and then at the dinner table she would babble about how much she admires you, Gilbert.” Mrs. Cuthbert smiled. Gilbert felt his heart squeeze, he felt dizzy and couldn’t decipher if it was a good feeling or not. Then the flowers poured out of his mouth and Mrs. Cuthbert rushed to his side and brought him to a chair.

“Gilbert! You have…Hanahaki.” His smile was a mix between sad and embarrassed. “Oh my dear...” Her voice held empathy. They sat in silence for a while, Gilbert trying to calm the tickling feeling of another fit and Mrs. Cuthbert held in thought.

 

“I had Hanahaki Disease before...” Gilbert’s hold body whipped towards her. “Many years ago, I was in love with a boy in my school and he loved me as well, but I had obligations,”  _obligations gilbert recalled that word._ “I couldn’t accept his love and so I rejected his feelings for me...it started to occur years after he left. And it was so painful,” she clutches at her heart and stared deeply at Gilbert as if to tell him she knew his pain. “Rachel always the one to know, told me there was such thing called surgery for the disease, in some tiny shop squished between two buildings in Charlottetown. Rachel and…Matthew and Michael urged me to do it. I had obligations they told me. I was a Cuthbert for better or for worse! Though thick and thin!” She took a deep breath. “And so I decided to do it...they took out every last vine in my throat, every root, and every flower from my lungs. And when I woke up I could finally breathe...but there was emptiness in my heart. I couldn’t feel.”

_“Marilla, how can you be so unfeeling?”_ she could hear Anne’s words in the back of her mind as clear as day. Emotion was a foreign word to Marilla, but every once in a while with Anne by her side she felt something, a spark of love.

“Gilbert you have a chance to live, to not feel congested in your own body, but if it is your wish, tell me and I will book a surgery for you. Death is the last option.” She reached out to him cautiously and squeezed his hand reassuringly; the situation was very heartfelt and a little awkward. With that she went back to the chopping board.

The door swung open and a radiate Anne walked in, smiling from ear to ear. “What a wonderful day it was today! I am ever so excited, Marilla, to describe to you all of the adventures I had with my dearest bosom friend Diana!” She took in the room and saw everyone sitting at the dinner table smiling up at her. “And-and you as well Gilbert, Sebastian and Mary. Hi Gil…” She acknowledged his presence with a tilt of her head. There it was again, it felt as if he could breathe in all the air he so wished to.

* * *

It was a “marvelous autumn day” as Anne described it, when the girl who held his heart finally found out. They walked through the forest side by side as Gilbert told her about his apprenticeship.

“How astounding! Being a doctor sounds like the perfect vocation for you, even if you are afraid of needles.” she giggled, “Having so much knowledge of the human body and finding new ways to cure it. Being the hope someone needs, you carry a great load of responsibility Gilbert and so much power! It’s also ever so fascinating how medicine is made, how the Earth provides so much for us humans. MOTHER NATURE IS THE GREATEST!” she cheers spinning, her arms outstretched as she beholds the land.

Gilbert sees how perfectly she fits in with the Earth, she looks like a creature of the forest, an ethereal being bestowed to him. Her hair the colour of the leaves that fall, her freckles like the stars, her blue eyes deep like the ocean, her laughs as sweet as syrup and her small body meant to run and jump and dance and climb. Then he feels the pain more excruciating then ever that he falls to the floor, his scream is taken from him replaced by the petals that fall from his mouth.

 

“GILBERT! GILBERT! WHAT IS HAPPENING? I DONT KNOW HOW TO HELP YOU!” he hears her scream. She’s at his side, her hands around his body holding him for dear life. ”PLEASE GILBERT!” Her hands fall onto the bloodied petals ‘ _this can’t be, it’s an old wives tale’._  

“Hanahaki Disease” they both say as Gilbert wipes the blood from the corner of his mouth. She had read a book about Hanahaki. It was an interesting concept and she loved the thrill of the story, the deep emotions that played out. But seeing it in front of her in the form of Gilbert Blythe she felt disgusted with her former self who swooned at how _‘oh so romantic’_ it was _._

She held him tightly, “who did this to you Gilbert! I swear I will march up to them right now and smack them silly.” Her eyes were filled with determination and fury radiated of her very being. He chuckled “I don’t think you’d be able to Anne.” Anne’s fury shifted to him. “How dare you! Is it because I’m so tiny that you think I wouldn’t have the strength? Now Gilbert, who’s the one who smacked you with that slate again? Cause I promise I’ll bring one to the person who did this to you.”

His eyes softened. “Come on let’s go.” He swiped the remaining petals off his legs and stood up. “Hey, Gilbert you didn’t answer my question!” She exclaimed.

He looked down at her with her wide-eyes and for a moment they stood silent. Suddenly he was filled with some sort of desire. He wanted to comfort her and if he’s being honest she looked adorable sitting there. His hand was rising on its on accord and he placed it atop her head, rubbing from side to side while giving some pats. “Gilbert, what are you doing?!” She said incredulously, unknowingly nuzzling into his hand. A faint blush coated her cheeks. _I like patting her head._

“Anne-girl don’t you want to hear more about my stories as an apprentice.” He said turning away from her and continuing on their walk _._ Unknown to him, Anne huffed trying to get rid of her dazed smile. She felt the warmth of her cheeks burning; they were burning redder then her godforsaken hair.

* * *

 

After Anne found out she did everything in her power to help. But her need to help only made things worse. Gilbert knew this, but he couldn’t help but hold onto every single second he spent with her. How could he pass up spending time with the girl of his dreams? He was dying anyway avoiding her wouldn’t change that.

“All Aboard the train to Charlottetown.” The conductor announced. “Come on Gilbert, I want window seats.” Anne cheered. Over the extent of their relationship, she had slowly progressed from gripping his arm tightly to holding his hand. She led him to two seats, looking back at him to give him the most breathtaking smile.

The whole train ride Anne and Gilbert talked. “Remember that time last year when I hopped a freight!” She giggled. “That was the most exhilarating day of my life! Gilbert, imagine being espionage and doing that on a daily. You’d be the trained doctor and could heal us if we ever got hurt. And I’d be highly trained in all kinds of martial arts. I’d also be very skilled in undercover identities. We’d spend nights in hotels planning our strategies of attack. I’d be Cordelia and you’d be the Doctor.” He could see the very fantasy play out in her mind and couldn’t help but wish it were true.

Mrs. Cuthbert lead the way to ‘the tiny shop squished between two buildings’ as Gilbert recalled. The walls were painted blue and every piece of furniture seemed to be a shade of the colour too, it contrasted with the dark brown wooded floors. There was a door at the back where he could only guess was where the surgery took place. Flowers of all kinds adorned the room, some were stacked on shelves, others acted as centerpieces, they all seemed to mock him. He didn’t understand why one would ever decide to decorate a room with the very thing that caused their patients trauma.

There was a waiting room probably filled with about 10 people, some were crying and others were violently coughing. Flowers covered the floor and Gilbert could feel the anguish.

 

“Hi, my name is Anne and what’s yours?” She cautiously approached a girl he could guess was the same age as her. “My-my name’s Reina.” The girl looked up at her. “That’s a wonderful name, I would imagine you belonged to a fairytale, a beautiful princess held in a castle awaiting her true love!” Anne telled. “My true love doesn’t accept my feelings!” she cried, flowers hurled to the floor, all of them were ambrosia. And Gilbert wondered to himself why he had four varying flowers within him.

“How are you so sure Reina” “well...well” “Did you ask them?” “Well, no.” “Then why are you here!” Anne exclaimed with a hint of anger. The girl was bewildered and embarrassed. “Reina there is still hope, you must open your heart to them so maybe they can as well to you. You mustn’t give up so easily. What if-what if they’re not sure, what if they’re scared.” “I’m scared.” “Well would you rather go through this process knowing it was worth it or not knowing at all, you must give love a chance.” Anne smiled. The girl nodded and looked towards Gilbert as Anne dashed off to another patient.

“I know that look anywhere. It’s the same one I give to them. You’re in love with her aren’t you?” Reina asked. “Hmmm...seems I’m not the only one who should be taking her advice.” Gilbert fell silent. And with that she stood up, brushed her dress and began to walk. “Where are you going?” He asked. She paused. “I’m going to try. She seems like a very intelligent individual, albeit a little blind.” Reina gave him a knowing smile before walking out the door. His eyebrows furrowed as he made his way to Anne, Bash and Mrs. Cuthbert. 

 

“Hell-ooooh! You must be Gilbert, it is very nice to meet you. My name is Doctor Fujisaki! Are you folks here for the surgery?” She beamed. “He wont be doing the surgery today. We’re just widening our options. Thank you very much.” Anne huffed. The doctor gave a happy nod looking between Gilbert and Anne already connecting the dots. _Of course_ she thought. _He loves her and she loves him but she’s blind to it._

Doctor Fujisaki seemed to be a woman in her late twenties. She was slim and tiny, and very close to being five feet tall. She had choppy bangs and her hair was a vibrant magenta that slightly hovered over her shoulders. Dr. Fujisaki wore red trousers and a white blouse. She seemed like a very vivacious person and seemed to emit youthfulness. Minori Fujisaki was the daughter of the man who performed the surgery on Mrs. Cuthbert decades ago, and she quickly took ownership of the place after her father’s death. People often described her as a very chipper person, who would always be dancing through town with a smile on her face. Everyone knew her and were stunned by her charms. It was rumored she had multiple jobs and was very good at sports.

 

“Come with me!” she led them to the surgery room. “The surgery requires every single seed to be removed or it will fail. Unknown to us before, if you were to have this surgery you will lose your ability to love.” She looked downcast. _Of course, She was constantly surrounded by despair. She knew so many stories of unrequited love. Patients she met, their sorrow was filled inside her heart._ _And so she put on a façade to give joy to those around her._ “Frankly, nothing good comes out of this disease, it is a time full of great sorrow so I urge you to consider your options and choose wisely.” She seemed deep in thought while saying this. “People used to beg to keep some flowers in them just to have a faint sense of the feelings. But, the feeling just grew stronger and the flowers grew more rapidly, ultimately leading to...anyway.”

 

The doctor jumped up and striked a pose, and instantaneously she was cheery once again. They exchanged looks of confusion all while Anne seemed to be entranced by this character. “After the surgery you can be given a closed vase filled with all the flowers that were inside you, the flowers will stay preserved for five years. We believe the vase symbolizes a new beginning for our patients and shows them that they are survivors and won against this battle!” She enthused.

“Doctor Fujisaki is there a reason why the flowers vary from each person?” Gilbert asked. “Ah, that is a very good question Gilbert. To my understanding the flower can depend on what type of love that person has for you. It can also reflect the qualities or physical characteristics of the person you love.” She informed with a smile.

Doctor Fujisaki raised a glass jar filled with ivy above her head. “Ivy means friendship. For this poor soul the one they loved only loved them platonically.” She pouted _‘Why is she pouting?’_ She placed the jar down and picked up a vase of black flowers. “These are called “Queen-of-the-night tulips, and bared a striking resemblance to the hair of their unrequited love.” She smiled softly placing the vase down.

“Reina, she had ambrosia, and ambrosia means your love is reciprocated.” Anne said. ‘I’ve never felt so strongly when I told her to go find them and confess, because I knew she could survive without surgery.” Anne’s eyebrows furrowed as she expressed her feeling. The doctor gave a slight nod, shifting her attention towards him.

“Gilbert would you like me to read your flowers…?” She asked merrily. “Yeah sure…umm they’re sunflowers, blue hydrangeas, geraniums, and scarlet zinnias.” She was dancing her way towards her desk all while singing ‘sunflowers, blue hydrangeas, geraniums, and scarlet zinnias’, then swinged a book out from a small drawer. The book was titled ‘Symbolic Meaning of Flowers” and was filed alphabetically.

 

“Yes! Sunflowers the flower of joy, happiness, adoration, loyalty and longevity. I imagine the love you feel for her is like that, yes?” She winked. “Yeah…” He smiled rubbing the back of his neck _‘of course Anne would symbolize sunflowers.’_ he chuckled to himself.

“To be honest this is quite exciting!” Anne confessed. She made her way beside the magenta-haired doctor. “Aha blue hydrangeas, how invigorating there are so many meanings ‘Heartfelt and honest emotions of any kind, Gratitude and thanksgiving to someone else, Developing a deeper understanding between two people, Abundance and prosperity, Grace and beauty” Anne listed. “Perhaps you should try to understand the deeper meaning of these words Gilbert?” Dr. Fujisaki nodded towards him. _‘Thank God she didn’t wink ’_

“Now onto the next one, zinnia brackets (scarlet). It means constancy. Gilbert this means your love for them is faithful, dependable, enduring and unchanging.” She smiled. “How romantical!” Anne swooned.

“Last one is geraniums!” Anne said excitedly, furiously flipping to the ‘G’ section. “Perhaps it means hope, or pure love, or time meaning you have to wait for them. Anticipation for the future or the flower means courage and is trying to give you courage to confess your feelings. Oh Gil there are endless possibilities-“ She rambled. “For heaven sakes Anne!” Mrs. Cuthbert sighed. “Here it is… ‘Geraniums symbolize st-sTUPIDITY and FOLLY!” Anne shouted. “That one wasn’t discreet at all huh Blythe?” Bash cackled, slapping his back.

Talking so much about Anne paired with her standing right inside of the same room as him – and being her lovely self –took a toil on Gilbert. Suddenly, the world gave way under him and he collapsed onto the floor as they exited the shop. He heard them scream for him “Blythe, come on boy, get up!” Bash yelled. Then he was up in someone’s arms, no doubt Bash was carrying him.

 

They arrived at Aunt Josephine’s house. He was laid in bed and was strictly told to take rest. But his eyes remained open. He could hear them in the dining room talking. Rollings opened the door and delivered his food, and he ate alone in his room. Gilbert hated the night. All he could feel was pain and there was nothing distracting his mind from going back to Anne. He curled himself up in a ball and shut his teary eyes tight. 

The door creaked open and Anne stood there wearing her nightgown smiling at him. She walked forward. “Anne what-what are you doing here?” He managed to say. _She IS going to be the death of me._ She looked like a goddess all in white, gracing him with her presence. _What a beautiful angel of death she is._ “If I can comfort my dearest Diana when she’s in the depths of despair, why can I not for you?” It was always like Anne to question gender roles. But, they both knew it was not the same.

She lifted the covers and got into his bed and he gaped at her. “You’ll catch flies in your mouth, if it is open like that Gilly boy” she teased. He felt her weight slightly shift the bed. “I’m sorry I couldn’t eat with you during dinner. Marilla strongly urged Sebastian and I to leave you alone. She felt you needed space…"

“Gilbert…promise me you’ll fight? Promise me you will survive? We’ll get through this together, okay?” Anne whispered through the winter night. “Yeah we will.” He nodded. They shuffled and Anne placed herself solidly against his backside, embracing him. _‘_ S _o the moon also allows one to cuddle their friend, well all right then…Thank you your grace!’_

He felt Anne’s tiny arm wrapped around him, her breathe against his neck, her torso pressed up against his back and her legs intertwined with his. And for just one night he threw propriety out the window. Gilbert closed his eyes and sleep welcomed him with open arms.

* * *

“You have to get treatment, please I beg of you!” Anne turned to him. They were walking home from school when she unexpectedly said this. “Anne these feelings in my heart are so special to me, I couldn’t live without them.” He looked at her. He loved Anne too much and imagining waking up one day not feeling anything for her was greater torture then this. “But you’re going to die! I see you dying every single second in front of me and I can’t bare to see you like this and not be able to do anything!” She yelled. “I’d rather die then never feel this way again.” He remained calm. They locked eyes.

She broke the trance, looking away from him. “Who is this girl? I swear I will beat some sense into her!” He chuckled. “She’s standing right in front of me.”

There was a deafening silence. _‘Did I say that out loud?’_ He furrowed his brows. There was no sound as Anne stared at him heartbroken. Then she was whispering something under her breath. “No, no, no, no no no…” She looked straight into his eyes as tears streamed down her face. “I’m-I’m killing you!” She was backing away, she felt like she was poison to him; she didn’t want to be in his presence any more and with that she ran.

_What have I done?_ They both thought. 

She wasn’t supposed to know. He would take it to his grave because Anne knowing would break her heart, he didn’t want her to feel that she did this to him. He fell in love with her and it wasn’t her fault she didn’t feel the same. He felt the flowers come again, but this one was violent. He sat their hurling for what felt like hours. He could see the blurred colours: yellows, blues, reds and greens surrounded him. They were mighty, healthy and thriving. They were covered in blood but they were beautiful.

* * *

 

“I’M KILLING HIM DIANA!” Anne ran to the Barry’s house. Diana opened the door, grabbed her coat and brought them outside. “Anne you are not killing him, your inability to be true to yourself is!” Diana said firmly. Anne furrowed. “Diana, what do you mean?”

“Anne, you go about the world filled with love, to everyone person, light bulb or flower you give it all your love. So why when love is standing right in front of you…do you ignore it?” Anne was speechless. “Gilbert is in love with you, Anne, and most importantly you are in love with him.” Diana finished. And like a dead autumn leaf, Anne crumbled to the ground. “Oh Diana…what have I done…” she cried into her kindred spirits arms. “It’s okay Anne there is still hope!” The raven-haired beauty stroked her kindred spirits back soothingly. Diana brought Anne home and made her promise that she would take rest before seeing Gilbert.

The snow fell heavily the next day; it was like a heavy cloak to the ground. The wind was violently banging against the windows, its howls echoed out through the house. The snow thrashed every which way. But all Anne could think of was Gilbert. _What if I’m too late? I can’t waste any more time waiting._ And so she did exactly what Marilla would scold her for, she ran through a snowstorm. The snow bit at her face, she felt it enter her boots, she panted for air but the coldness hurt her lungs. _Gilbert, Gilbert, Gilbert, Gilbert, Gilbert, Gilbert, GILBERT…_ It was the only thought in her mind and that was quite grand for someone like Anne Shirley-Cuthbert. She made it to the front porch and banged on the door. She could hear swears from inside. Mary opened the door “Anne…” she pushed past her saying a quick sorry and rushed up the stairs.

He lay there eyes shut, his limbs lay limp. He wasn’t breathing. He was lifeless. He was in a pool of flowers. All fully formed, all disgustingly magnificent. 

She dropped to her knees and sobbed. “Gil… please come back to me! I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I was such a coward. I didn’t know these feeling in my chest, but they burned like a thousand suns! A part of me knew, when I held you in bed that one night, when I first discovered you had Hanahaki, when I wrapped you in my arms outside of Ms. Stacy’s class, when I saw you at the dining table awaiting my arrival. A part of me always knew that I was always madly in love with you Gilbert Blythe! The ‘you’ who wants to be a doctor, the ‘you’ who travelled the world, the ‘you’ who slayed my dragons, the ‘you’ who always accepted me as I am. These emotions they’ve always been there but I-I coudn’t accept them. How could someone as-as ethereal as you love me? Yes Gilbert you are otherworldly, you are all my fairytale wishes come to life. And the part of me that doubted held me back from running to you.” She was kneeling at his bedside now.

“Gilbert, I can’t live in a world without you, I would rather die. And I’m realizing that right now. Please wake up. Please...Please...I love you... ” He didn’t respond and so she crawled onto the bed and grasped the little bit of warmth in him. She cradles in close to him hoping against hope that somehow her body warmth could spark a fire in him and he could be brought back to life. Her tears were gone for a moment and all she was left with was pure and unconditional love. “Gilbert, when Matthew was alive I told him of what I wanted in love. We would be equals and partners, not just husband and wife. I came up with the new name for both parties together because I believed that they should be named the same; lifemates...Gilbert you are my life mate, s-so how can I go through life without you…?” She gasped for air, she sobbed for him. 

Anne curled up against the love of her life, shut her eyes tight and willed herself to sleep.

* * *

 

_Breathe Breathe Breathe BREATHE_ , his lungs expanded and contracted. His airways filled with oxygen. He felt energy course through his veins and his body felt it was being brought back to life. He felt weight on him, a sleeping Anne tucked into his side. Why was he alive? He survived. There were no more flowers in his lungs, not a single seed was left. They all lay around him and Anne. 

Sunflowers which represented the joy Anne brought to his life, _‘And if you ever hassle Anne again you’ll regret it’_ they represented his loyalty to her and how he adored her. She was the sun, burning brightly and giving life to those around her. And he was the moon feeling her shine upon him. They had finally met in the sky. The blue hydrangeas were meant to give him courage and hope in a sense but he stupidly didn’t take their advice. Stupidity, Geraniums…in a sense they both were stupid. Hiding their emotions from each other and waiting till death to do them part before the finally confessed. His eyes flickered to the scarlet zinnias, his love for Anne was truly faithful, dependable, enduring and unchanging. He smiled down at her, he was in euphoria. He shifted, holding Anne to him. She was his, she loved him. His unconscious brought forth the word _lifemates_. Yes that’s what they were. 

Her eyes fluttered open.

* * *

They looked around the grand room of Josephine Barry, filled with flowers of every kind. It was another summer soiree. Atop Anne’s head lay a bulky flower crown and her fiery tresses fell down at the sides of her face. She wore a green dress, with no puffed sleeves. It hugged her body just right and he couldn’t help but let his mind wander. “I thought you’d need a new beginning, a new memory of flowers,” she smiled at him. “I do too heh...” She looked at the floor. Gilbert reached forward and gently lifted her chin up to face him. “I think this was a beautiful idea my Anne-girl, especially because I know how much you love flowers.”

He looked around the room and saw all those who converged paths with him through his journey. Reina raised a glass, winking to him. Doctor Fujisaki was frantically waving to him as she twirled around the dance floor. Bash and Mary grinned at him as they swayed back and forth. Diana and Cole nodded at him from their place near the piano and Marilla gave a gentle smile.

Anne’s hands interlaced with as she led him to the dance floor. She gently lifted his left hand with her right outstretching it. She brought his right hand to her waist and placed her left hand on his shoulder. He felt butterflies in his stomach, but this time he was unburdened by the flowers. 

 

_“Oh it's you I know, you're the one I dream of, Look into my eyes, takes me to the clouds above, Oh I lose control, can't seem to get enough, When I wake from dream, tell me is it really love, How will I know if you really love me?I say a prayer with every heartbeat, I fall in love whenever we meet, I'm asking you what you know about these things_ ” The singers voice echoed around the room, a man from London by the name of Sam Smith.

After the soiree he walked her to her room, quite a short distance but he was too love-struck to care. He also wanted to do something he’s been daydreaming about. “Thank you most graciously sir for walking me to my room.” Anne said as proper as ever. All he could do was stare at her. Anne Shirley-Cuthbert, _my Anne, my lifemate._ He saw her cheeks turn pink, she was blushing up at him and he couldn’t help but smirk. He tucked a loose strand behind her ear. He loved touching her hair.

He lifted his other hand, places it at the side of her head. She stared at him in awe and then her eyes were closed. Their lips connected and he never felt more alive then right then. They had met, the sun and the moon. It’s like he was waiting centuries for this moment. It was a phenomenon to him, but soon it would be familiar. 

“Again…” She bit her lip. And he smiled at that.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, it truly means the world to me! Please kudos and comment. Support is greatly appreciated. Tell me your thoughts please.


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